h0odrich:

I looked it up I have all the symptoms of a functioning dead person

killself:

visiting Yahoo Answers instead of a doctor

• friend: how far have you gone with a boy
• me: in miles or kilometers

maleteen:

if anyone ever breaks your heart just remember they are only human and you can break their body 

geometricdeathtrap:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

none of you ever touch a penis

jehovas-witness:

internetexplorers:

cheese3d:

nothings worse than soft grapes

soft apples

soft dicks

mrutau-ler:

(Source: millionfish)

gorgeousdarren:

when you forget capslock is on and google something really aggressively by accident

formuioli:

we were on the verge of nuclear war and we didnt give a shit but when yahoo makes an offering to buy tumblr we all start freakin out